[F] Under the Starry Sky [Timo]

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

“Yes. I'd like that,” Berwald said softly, happy with the idea of making something with Timo. “Yeah. Was somethin' Moth'r only got 'round ta teachin' me a few years ago. S'fun. I like how precise ya have ta be,” he said. “Have ya ev'r baked anythin' b'fore? Feel like ya'd be really good at it.” He couldn't stop himself from picturing the younger blond in a cute apron – a light blue, Moomin-patterned one. 'So... cute...' he thought a little shakily, actually trying for once to keep his face straight.

Berwald blushed lightly at the feeling of Timo's hand around his again. It was kind of embarrassing, how much he liked it when the younger blond did that. “Well, they did put animals in space b'fore people,” he said, amused at the idea of him and Timo and a small dog floating around in space. “Yeah, mundane stuff would be more int'restin'. Jus' imagine eatin' up there. I nev'r play with m'food. Pro'bly would all the time in space,” the tall blond said, chuckling softly. He accepted his second lid of hot chocolate with a grateful nod. He then took a slow sip of the drink, savoring its flavor and the feeling of warmth spreading through his stomach. “Yer height's fine. S'cute,” he said earnestly.

Berwald felt a small smile tug at his lips as he listened to Timo talk so energetically. “And wha' would ya do if we really did meet Fath'r Christmas?” he asked, the small, amused smile never leaving his face. Picturing Timo excitedly bouncing up to Father Christmas in the middle of the North Pole was strangely easy. In any case, it was an adorable thing to imagine. The younger man's love for Christmas was something Berwald had always liked about him. “We should go see the North'rn Lights, too.” Berwald had always wanted to see them since reading about them as a kid. He knew they'd look amazing from the ground but he could hardly imagine how spectacular the view would be from space.

The older blond took a few more deep gulps of hot chocolate, humming quietly to himself as he finished his second lid. He then covered his mouth and let out a quiet yawn. The warmth in his stomach was beginning to make him feel drowsy but he knew he'd be feeling more awake soon on account of the sugar in the drink. “Ya cold?” Berwald asked Timo in a soft mumble as he handed him the lid back. “Don't want ya gettin' sick. Yer always so tired already,” he said, sounding worried as he took a closer look at his friend. He frowned softly at the telltale signs of borderline exhaustion on the younger man's face. He bit his lip and shifted his gaze elsewhere. “'m sorry, don't want ta pry. Jus'... worried about ya.”

[Timo Väinämöinen]

Giggling, Timo nodded. “Of course I’ve baked things before! Remember, I made you cakes sometimes at school.” He pointed out, gazing up at the sky with a smile. “When I was younger I thought that if I couldn’t be a teacher perhaps I’d be a baker instead. I like making bread as well. Oh! I should make bread for you some day.” He didn’t often have the time for it now, though, but maybe he’d manage to find some time for that. “I’d really like to bake with you, though.” He said, smiling at Berwald. Mind you. Timo would like to do every thing with Berwald. He wasn’t sure that he agreed with him about his height, though. It bothered him, just like the curve of his hips. At least these days it wasn’t quite as pronounced.

“Hmm… I guess if we met him I’d ask him if he wanted any help!” Timo said, happily. “I think it’d be a lot of fun going all around the world and seeing lots of things, and then giving people gifts as well and making them smile!” He glanced at Berwald, seeing what he thought. Perhaps it was a little silly, but Timo really did love giving people things when he had the money too. Perking up at the mention of the Northern lights, Timo nodded eagerly. “Oh, I’d love to go and see them!” He said quickly, looking up at the light display in the sky above them. “Remember that picture I found in class that day and printed off? I still have it by my bed.” Timo couldn’t remember what the class had been, but they’d found an old picture of the Northern Lights online, and Timo had printed a copy of it off and stuck it over his bed. When he’d left home it’d been one of the few things he’d been able to take, and he’d had it in his locker at school until he got his flat. It still made him smile to look at.

“Mm, a bit.” Timo said, with a little nod, but he smiled at Berwald. “It’s a little chilly up here. I guess because it’s higher the wind’s stronger. I always notice that at the parade too.” He added, tucking himself in a little. His face fell as Berwald continued, though, and he looked away. He’d been hoping that Berwald wouldn’t notice, that he wouldn’t have to worry him. After all, Berwald had enough to deal with without having to stress over things that Timo should have under control himself. “You don’t have to worry about me.” He reassured him softly, squeezing his hand as he looked back up at him. “Please try not to, anyway. Really, I’m all right.” Softly he stroked the back of Berwald’s hand as he sighed, trying to think of a way he could stop him from worrying without full out lying.

In the end, though, he decided that it’d be better just to change the subject altogether, in case he ended up just making things worse. It wouldn’t surprise him. He had a habit of doing that. “Do you believe in fate, Ber?” He asked, looking up at him with a smile. “That some things are just meant to happen?” Without realising it, he squeezed Berwald’s hand as he spoke. “I’m not sure that I do. It feels a little mean to thing that everything’s set in stone and you can’t make your own future, but…” He glanced up at him and smiled. “Some times I wonder if there’s something guiding us towards something special, and it’s up to us to take that chance.” He’d gotten a second chance with Berwald. He’d been dwelling on it since then. He’d never expected it, but here they were. And it made him happier than he’d been in years.

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

Berwald grunted in a thoughtful sort of way, nodding to himself a little. “Hn, s'been so long. Almos' f'rgot... Explains m'feelin' at least. Ya are really good at it,” he said in a rather decisive tone, even though he was still trying to recall the exact taste of a pastry Timo had baked for him many years ago. “Can see ya as a bak'r. Suits ya. Teachin' suits ya, too, though. Bit 'f a miracle tha' I made it through high school without ya,” the tall blond said, remembering all the times the younger man had helped him with his school work. “'kay, soon,” he promised, a tiny smile on his face. He couldn't help feeling eager already, Timo coming over to bake with him sounded like a lot of fun.

Berwald smiled a little wider as he felt a great rush of affection for the younger blond well up in his chest. Timo was the only person he knew who could give such a selfless response and mean it one hundred percent. The older blond met Timo's gaze and his usually harsh, turquoise eyes softened considerably. “'m sure Fath'r Christmas would love yer help... Come by m'house aft'r ya've finished deliverin' all the presents, though, 'kay? I'll wait fer ya,” he said and, for some reason, his heart ached at his own words. He had no idea why but he felt as if... he'd said them before. He hurriedly shook off the peculiar feeling and directed his attention back to his conversation with Timo. Berwald quickly scanned through his memories and was able to recall the day the two of them had found an old picture of the Northern Lights online. "Hn, I rememb'r... S'been a long time since then. Ya must've tak'n good care'f it," he commented, thinking to himself how sweet it was that Timo treated such things so preciously.

Berwald felt a faint blush color his cheeks as he gently squeezed Timo’s hand back. “’m sorry. Can’t… can’t help worryin’ ‘bout ya,” he said in a very quiet voice. “I’ll try not ta so much but… no promises. ‘m sorry…” he said, his tone soft and tinged with guilt despite how frustrated he was with himself for not being able to properly convey to Timo that he was completely fine with worrying so much because that’s what people who care about you just do. The calming way the younger blond was stroking his hand was nice, though, and it took his mind off how much he hated that he was so terrible with words. “Timo. Ev’n if I worry… I trust ya. And ‘m always gonna, ‘kay?”

The tall blond felt his heartbeat quicken as he listened to the younger man with rapt attention. He was surprised that his friend had brought this topic up because he only really started considering the possibility of fate the day the two of them met again after so many years. For a long time, a part of him had believed that Timo had drifted out of his life forever. But he had carried on hoping that they’d meet again someday anyway because a much larger part of him just couldn’t let Timo go. And they really did meet again, didn’t they? Was that because of fate? And then there was that something special the small blond had just mentioned… “Dunno much ‘bout fate but… believin’ tha’ ev’rythin’ is predet’rmined seems silly ta me. No point in free will if all our choices lead ta the same end. The idea tha’ somethin’ is guidin’ us, though… Wouldn’t mind if fate was like tha’,” Berwald said contemplatively. “Been thinkin’ lately tha’ we’re all meant ta do somethin’… and tha’ some things are jus’ s’pposed ta happ’n. Like… like you an’ me meetin’ again aft’r so long,” he said, his tone gentle but shy. “Have ya been thinkin’ a lot ‘bout this sort’f stuff?” he asked curiously.

[Timo Väinämöinen]

It was a little hard not to sigh at the reminder of his old dreams. Well… there was no point crying over spilt milk, right? Maybe one day he’d get to finish his school work and become a teacher, but until then he got to make children toys! What could be more rewarding than that? “Well, some times I get to bake things in the café, but mostly we buy things in.” He said, sounding a little disappointed about that. He’d much rather make them himself, even though that would be difficult, seeing as he was usually working by himself anyway. There weren’t any nice bakeries that he knew of where he lived, either.

For some reason, Timo felt the same as Berwald… along with a rush of affection. “I’d like to spend Christmas with you.” He said, softly. “I’ll have to find you an extra special Christmas present though!” As he spoke, his free hand went to the necklace around his neck, fiddling with it as he often did when he was thinking. Oh, he wanted to get Berwald the most wonderful Christmas gift when it came round… he’d start saving right now if it meant that he could make Berwald smile with something!

“Really, I’m not worth worrying about.” Timo said, gently, but he snuggled in closer to Berwald’s side, smiling up at him affectionately. Berwald was sweet to worry, but it wasn’t worth it. Timo would deal with things, and if he couldn’t? Well, that was his own fault for being a failure. Leaning in against Berwald, Timo took in a deep breath. “Thank you. I trust you too… And I trust you not to worry too much!” He added, with a little giggle, trying to lighten the mood. Leaning over, he took the hot chocolate cup so he could pour himself a little more and sip from it before it cooled completely.

Nodding thoughtfully at what Berwald said, Timo sipped from the cup and looked upwards, watching the lights. They were starting to fade now, and Timo felt a little disappointed. He’d meant it when he said that it’d be nice if they happened every day. “I guess that’s true.” He agreed. “I think… our choices make us who we are, but are choices are dictated by who we are as well. We make decisions based on what we think and know. So maybe even if things are meant to be one way we can make them another way by our decisions?” Timo smiled at Berwald affectionately. “Not a lot but… I’m so glad that you found me again, whether it was meant to happen or not. I missed you a lot.” He admitted softly, before finishing his hot chocolate and pouring the last of it for Berwald. “Here.” He said, as he passed it over.

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

A tiny, crooked smile curved Berwald’s lips as he shook his head softly. Timo’s heart was in the right place, as it always was, but the tall blond found the idea of receiving an extra special present from the younger blond to be rather silly because he felt, well, completely undeserving. “Ya don’t have ta get me anythin’, s’enough ta have ya ov’r. Jus’ wanna spend more time with ya,” he admitted in a soft tone, not noticing that his hold on Timo’s hand tightened slightly. He couldn’t quite stomach the thought of the small blond spending extra Sol just to get him a Christmas present. Having the younger man over was enough, more than enough. On the other hand, however, Berwald firmly believed that Timo deserved a Christmas present that was nothing less than spectacular. Almost immediately, he considered building or carving something. He couldn’t help wondering, though, if his woodworking skills were developed enough to make something worthy of being given to Timo on a day as special as Christmas.

Seeing the younger blond’s hand clasped around his silver cross necklace filled Berwald with a curious feeling. He still couldn’t quite believe that Timo had kept it after all this time. He felt kind of silly for hoping that maybe it was something special to the younger man. For all he knew, Timo might’ve kept it just because it looked nice on him. Berwald really couldn’t disagree, it suited him so well. For whatever reason the small blond kept the trinket, though, there must have been at least a few times that Timo thought of the one who gave it to him. The tall blond was happy with just that.

“Tha’s not true,” Berwald said in a soft but fervent voice, a little alarmed at how casually his friend could downplay his own worth. There were so many things swimming around in his mind now but, to his frustration, he couldn’t form any of the thoughts into words. All he could do was feel his heartbeat quicken as the younger man leaned in even closer to him. In an attempt to calm down, Berwald gently closed his eyes and took in Timo’s scent, his warmth, the sound of his voice and the feel of his hand in his own. He slowly opened his eyes upon hearing the small blond’s soft giggle. “I’ll try,” he promised quietly, a tiny smile on his lips.

“Yes, I’d like ta think so. ’ve always believed in bein’ able ta choose what ta make of yer own life. Thinkin’ oth’rwise would be too pessimist’c fer me,” Berwald said. Inwardly touched by the younger blond’s words, he carefully thought about what to say in response as he accepted the last bit of hot chocolate with a grateful nod. “Missed ya, too. Missed ya so much… Nev’r really felt lonely ‘til ya left,” he mumbled, looking up to the shooting stars that were now fading from the sky. “Held up okay but things were nev’r the same without ya. ‘m happy yer back,” he said softly, chancing a small glance at Timo to see his reaction. He drank from the lid slowly, making sure to leave it half-full. He then offered what was left of the drink to the younger man.

Berwald did his best to stifle a yawn, vaguely wondering what time it was. “Should’ve worn m’watch… Not too tired?” he asked Timo, trying not to sound worried. He thought of offering his shoulder for the small blond to rest his head on but found that he couldn’t quite get the words out.

[Timo Väinämöinen]

“But I want to get you a present!” Timo said, quickly. “I owe you… seven years worth of Christmas and birthday presents anyway.” He pointed out. Anyway, he liked giving presents! It was always nice to see other people smile, and he liked the challenge of trying to work out exactly what was best for them. He was usually pretty good at it too. Maybe if he started saving now he’d be able to get something really special – something to match the necklace that Timo had worn for so long. Perhaps Berwald needed new tools for his woodworking or something. It’d be nice to know that Timo had been able to give Berwald something that he’d interact with and use so often, and that he could use to make such beautiful pieces as he did.

Of course Timo had kept the necklace because it reminded him of Berwald. Even through his darkest times, when he’d not had enough money to buy food, he’d never even considered selling it. It had become as much a part of him as anything else, like his familiar beret, a link to happier times and something that could make him smile just by being there. It felt uncomfortable not to wear it, and even taking it off to shower made Timo uneasy.

Hearing Berwald say that he’d missed him too made Timo blush darkly. He was glad that the fading lights weren’t enough to reveal it, and he glanced down, toes curling in happiness. “I’m sorry.” He said, but he was still smiling happily. “I didn’t mean to make you lonely. I really didn’t. But… now that I’ve found you again I’ll make it up to you, I promise!” Squeezing Berwald’s hand, he beamed up at him again. He really meant that! He pushed the cup back towards Berwald, though. “It’s all right, you can have it! I’ve had more than you anyway.” He reassured him quickly.

The way that Berwald tried to stifle his yawn was adorable as far as Timo was concerned and he made a pleased little noise, snuggling in happily, and then having to hold back a yawn himself. “A little. But I bet people will be rushing to get the train back down, so we might as well wait out a little. You’re not too cold are you?” He asked, leaning over to tuck the blankets around them a little better.

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

“If ya put it tha’ way then… I owe ya jus’ as many presents,” Berwald said, looking rather pensive. Well, that certainly upped the ante. The tall blond couldn’t help worrying even more about whether he would be able to build anything good enough or not. Due to his uncertainty about his woodworking skills, he considered simply buying something instead. That was also a great cause for worry, though, because he wasn’t very good at picking presents to begin with. He could always just ask Timo what he wanted but that killed part of the fun of it, right? He’d have to get someone’s advice on this. He resolved himself to start saving money right away, however. Whether he was going to buy a present or make one himself, he was still going to need Sol. Really good presents don’t come cheap and if he was going to build something for Timo, it was going to be made of high quality materials. His mind briefly flitted to his regular supplier getting pissed at him for going somewhere else to get “better” lumber to work with. Berwald bit back a satisfied smirk.

It felt like a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders when Timo uttered those kind words. He squeezed his hand back and met his bright look with a small smile on his lips. With such a wonderful friend by his side, the tall blond was sure that he was the luckiest person on the island. He wanted to tell the other blond that he didn’t have to apologize, that it wasn’t even his fault. He wanted to thank him for making such an amazing promise, for just being here with him now. But, as usual, none of the words would come out. He stayed silent, his thumb absently stroking the back of Timo’s hand. He felt… happier than he had been in a long, long time.

Timo pushing the drink back towards him wasn’t unexpected but offering had been worth a try. Berwald nodded wordlessly and drank the rest of the quickly cooling liquid. He handed the now empty lid back to the small blond, looking as grateful as his stoic face would allow him. He looked back up to the sky and, upon seeing how the lights of the shooting stars rapidly continued to fade, suddenly felt a little melancholic. Despite how thankful he was for the experience he’d been able to share with Timo so far, he wished for the meteor shower to last a little longer. He just didn’t want tonight to end yet. He wanted Timo to stay with him. Vaguely noticing from a distance that some people were getting ready to leave, he chuckled softly, sadly. “Don’t want ta go home yet,” he whispered.

Happy that he’d be able to stay with Timo a little longer, Berwald nodded in agreement. He really disliked crowded places anyway. “’m okay,” he mumbled but snuggled back against Timo all the same. “Let’s do somethin’ t’geth’r again soon, ‘kay?” he requested quietly. It was undeniable that watching the meteor shower had been very special but Berwald knew he’d also treasure doing simpler activities like having an ordinary lunch with the other blond. “Maybe I could go ta the café ya work at?” he suggested. He wouldn’t be able to eat with Timo, who would most likely be in the middle of a shift, but he did like the idea of seeing him in a waiter outfit. The older blond was close to assuming that he thought his friend would look cute in anything.

[Timo Väinämöinen]

Timo blushed softly to feel Berwald’s thumb rubbing the back of his hand. It felt nice… perhaps even too nice. It made him feel safe, secure, and loved. Squeezing Berwald’s hand back, he moved in closer to him. He didn’t want to go home yet either and he glanced at Berwald, then gave him a fond, gentle smile. “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just go home together?” He said, quietly, his heart skipping a beat just to think about it. How nice would it be to be able to share his life with Berwald and his family!

“Definitely!” Timo agreed quickly, squeezing Berwald’s hand. “If you come at the end of a shift we can eat together and then maybe go for a walk?” He suggested. “Or we can go down to the sea! I haven’t been down there in years.” He hummed happily, thinking of all the things that they could do together. He’d honestly be happy as long as he was with Bewald. If only he could invite him home for a meal! His little flat was so tiny, though, that he was ashamed to even think about having Berwald home. “I’ll text you and we can arrange something.” He offered, with a pleased little smile.

Noticing that most people had moved on, he nosed into Berwald’s shoulder without thinking, and then blushed, realising what he’d done. “Ah, we should get home.” He said, quickly. “It’s already late and we both need to sleep.” He squirmed out of the blanket and started to roll it up, sliding it into the bag, and then reaching for Berwald’s as well. “It’s a pity it didn’t last longer.” He said, hiding his face in his hair still as he bowed his head over the bag, grateful for the excuse to make sure his blush was hidden.

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

Berwald felt his heart skip a beat before doubling its pace at Timo’s words. For the small blond to suggest such a wonderful thing… He could hardly take it because it could only mean that his friend had considered the idea and found it pleasant as well. Timo wasn’t kidding or anything, was he? The tall blond swallowed nervously as he turned to meet the younger man’s gaze. He felt his cheeks redden at the gentle smile curling the other blond’s lips. He meant it, then. “Yes,” he whispered fervently. “I’d really like it if… things were tha’ way.” He could tell that coming home would feel even better if it was to a place that Timo called home, too.

“Goin’ ta the sea sounds fun. S’nice there. Anythin’ is fine with me, though,” he mumbled, a small smile on his face. The younger man’s enthusiasm was too endearing. He could understand where he was coming from, though. Berwald was already feeling very excited himself and they hadn’t even decided on anything yet. There was just so much they could do together. He felt as if the rest of their lives still wouldn’t be enough time. “’kay,” he said as he nodded his head in agreement, already looking forward to Timo’s text and their (yet to be planned) next meeting.

Berwald chuckled softly, amused at his friend’s actions. So cute, he thought to himself happily. The small blond’s next words were rather sobering, however. The older man really didn’t want to leave yet but he followed Timo’s example and began rolling up his blanket, too. When he was finished, he handed it over to the younger blond. “Hn,” he grunted softly in agreement, starting to feel sad that he was about to part ways with Timo once more. “Rest well, ‘kay?” Berwald requested quietly after he managed to catch the other man’s gaze.

[Timo Väinämöinen]

Those words made Timo’s heart skip a beat. Maybe one day they would be able to go home together. He could live in hope, anyway. Or at least… Well, maybe things were better this way. If they had more time spend together, that would be better, but at least for now they both had their jobs and could afford to look after themselves. He didn’t want to drag Berwald away from his family, and he didn’t want to impose on them either.

Laughing fondly when Berwald agreed with his suggestion, Timo wiggled his toes. While he was at work he’d think about what they could do – something free this time – and then he’d text Berwald with his suggestions. As long as he got to meet up with Berwald again soon then he’d be happy. Now that he had the older man back in his life the worst punishment was having to wait to see him again.

Timo took the blanket with a bright smile, packing it in the bag, and then taking the blanket that they’d been sitting on and with a little bit of effort managed to fit that into the bag as well. “I’m not going to leave you yet!” He said, quickly. “We can at least get the train back down together. Besides,” he added, shooting a little amused smile at Berwald, “you promised to carry my bag on the way home.” He pointed out, as he held it out. He really didn’t mind carrying it, but it was fun to tease the older man. Once he’d taken it, though, he took his free hand again and smiled at him as he walked along side him.

“It’s nice up here in the dark, isn’t it?” He said, looking around. Even though all the beautiful flowers were closed for the night, the stars, and the lights from the Hall and the train station beyond. “I mean, it’s beautiful in the daylight too, but it’s so calm and quiet. So much unlike the city. Wouldn’t it be nice to live somewhere where you don’t have people and light everywhere?” For a moment he thought of the snowy, tree filled landscape that sometimes haunted his dreams, and he smiled. Perhaps if he’d been born in the old world he would have been a country boy, but here… well, you simply didn’t have a choice.

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

Berwald blinked a few times at the bag Timo was holding out for him to take. With a little start, he quickly recalled that, earlier that night, he had agreed to carry the younger man’s bag on the way back. He felt his cheeks beginning to warm with embarrassment but the next thing he knew he was covering his mouth with a hand, trying to stifle his laughter. Even without his palm muffling his chuckles, his apparent mirth was quiet and reserved; though it was definitely the hardest he’d laughed in a long, long while. He wasn’t even sure what he found so amusing. His own forgetfulness? Maybe it was the fact that Timo was actually teasing him? In any case, his random bout of laughter ended quite quickly and he then wordlessly nodded at the younger blond, taking his bag with a lighthearted smile on his face. He let out a pleased hum as he walked alongside his friend.

The bespectacled blond grunted softly in agreement before replying, “It’d be easier ta see the stars without too many lights ‘round an’ s’nice when it’s quiet.” Since he had always been a person of few words, he knew how to appreciate silence. Berwald took a deep breath of the cool, clean air, savoring his surroundings since he had no idea when he’d be able to come back. The natural lights shimmering above them and the artificial ones flickering in the distance gave the area a very calming atmosphere. Due to his pondering over Timo’s words, his mind inadvertently drifted back to a certain exasperating woodcutter, who lived alone in a cabin deep in the woods. He’d been there several times so he was aware that it was pretty far away from the city. He had to wonder how a loud, outgoing man, who practically thrived on other people’s attention, could stand to live in such a secluded place.

They were getting closer to the train station now and Berwald couldn’t help wondering what Timo would say if, right then and there, he invited him over to stay the night at his house. He thought back to the times the other blond had come to his place to sleep over. Considering that their time together as teenagers hadn’t been very long, he found it amazing that they had been able to make so many fond memories together.

He recalled one particular memory, a very special one. He’d woken up ahead of his friend for once and, like every other time they had shared his bed, they’d somehow ended up pressed against each other. He still remembered the feel of their legs lightly tangled with each other and how his arm had been draped over Timo’s waist. It had been his immediate intention to pull his arm away, out of embarrassment, but when his gaze had landed on the younger boy’s face, he felt compelled to remain still. There had been a small smile curling the small blond’s lips. And Berwald, who had still been groggy and practically half-asleep, just found himself wishing for his precious friend to look this happy and carefree all the time.

The tall blond looked up to the sky for a moment, slowing his stride very slightly. “Can ya rec’gnize const'llations, Timo? Dunno much ‘bout ‘em but… I know tha’ a lot of ‘em are named aft’r gods, godd’sses an’ heroes from Greek mythol’gy. Y’know, from the old world,” he said, shifting his gaze back to the younger man. “Pers’nally, Norse mythol’gy’s the most int’restin’,” he said, vaguely thinking about how much time he used to spend in the library.

[Timo Väinämöinen]

At first Timo stared at Berwald when he started to laugh. That really wasn’t what he’d expected, but… After just a moment he began to chuckle as well, enjoying hearing Berwald’s laughter. How long had it been since he’d last heard that sweet sound? Far, far too long. He was happy enough to let him take the bag, though, stretching out a little now that his hands were free again. The bag wasn’t really heavy at all, but it was nice to have his hands free, even if he did immediately stick his free one in his pocket to keep it warm. He took Berwald’s again with his other one, though, enjoying the contact still.

As much as Timo would love to go back to sleep with Berwald, he couldn’t. He had work in a couple of hours and he didn’t want to have to admit that to him. He was dreading it already, but this was a longer break than he’d had in weeks. Normally he would have been using it to catch up on sleep, but this had been much better, even if he would pay for it later. Besides… waking up next to Berwald in the same way as he’d used to would be even more embarrassing than it had back then. He could remember almost perfectly what it felt like being curled into Berwald’s bigger body, but back then they’d both been children. Now? Timo blushed just thinking about being pressed into Berwald’s strong chest. And then Berwald would get to feel Timo’s softer body, and that would be an embarrassment. No. It would be much better to avoid that.

“I can’t.” Timo admitted with a little blush, following Berwald’s gaze upwards. “I tried to learn them when I was little – grandpa and I used to go down to the beach all the time and he’d try and teach me, but he told me they’re different here than they used to be here his grandparents lived. I wonder if I’d be able to learn those ones better? For some reason I could never remember these ones.” It was nice to hear Berwald talking about something that he enjoyed, and Timo nodded quickly. “I love Norse mythology too!” He agreed, happily. “My grandpa used to tell me those stories too.” As they reached the train station, he glanced to see how long it’d be until the next train. Not for another ten minutes, so he led the way over to the waiting room so they could sit down. “My family came from the area where that all came from.” He said, thoughtfully.

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

“Can’t eith’r. Dunno anyone who can,” Berwald admitted, thinking about how interesting it would be to talk to someone knowledgeable about the stars. They were very, very far away and essentially of no real consequence to him but… they just seemed so beyond him, beyond everyone and everything on the island, on the planet, that he figured that learning more about them would be worth something. Though he didn’t know why, that particular thought made him squeeze Timo’s hand lightly.

“Hn, didn’t know they were diff’rent b’fore,” the tall blond mumbled thoughtfully. It would have been nice if he had known any of his grandparents. He enjoyed hearing about how things used to be, no matter how far back or how recent. He would’ve liked to hear about what the island was like when his grandparents had been children. Still, it wasn’t something he could really dwell on. His parents hadn’t been very young when they’d had him so it wasn’t too unexpected that both his maternal and paternal grandparents had passed on long before he was born. Though Berwald had always avoided bringing up the family members Timo had lost as a child, he’d still felt that his friend had been very close to his grandfather. Even until now, he could remember that during the times the younger blond had brought it up on his own, he’d always spoken of his grandfather fondly.

And from Timo’s words just now, it was still apparent, too! He felt a little envious to hear that the younger man had had someone to tell him stories like that. Not for the first time, he found himself wishing he could have met his friend’s grandfather. And then there was his mother as well. He remembered wondering about her from time to time. He had wondered about all sorts of things about her: what she’d been like to Timo, whether she’d have gotten along with his own mother, what traits she had that Timo might’ve taken after. But, of course, he had never dared to ask about anything concerning her or the younger boy’s grandfather. He’d been terrified of making his only friend sad or angry. That still hadn’t changed now, though. Berwald just… never wanted to do anything that would hurt Timo.

Berwald followed the younger man into the waiting room, inwardly glad for the little bit of extra time. “M’fam’ly, too. Maybe our ancest’rs crossed paths ‘r somethin’,” he said half-jokingly. He didn’t know a lot about his direct lineage aside from the things his parents had told him but he’d done quite a bit of research on the area his family had originated from. He knew Aleksander’s family was from around the same place, too. “D’ya ev’r wish ya’d been born back then?” the bespectacled man asked. “Must’ve really been somethin’. Jus’ readin’ ‘bout it is excitin’. Still, if I’d really been born then, wouldn’t’ve met ya – or anyone I know now for tha’ matt’r. ‘m happy with how things are,” he mumbled.

[Timo Väinämöinen]

“I don’t think it’s because of the time, I think it’s because we’re in the southern… part of the world, and before they lived in the north. I think.” Timo looked a bit unsure. He hadn’t been great at geography at school. They hadn’t covered a lot of it anyway, just enough that history still made sense. Timo was vaguely aware of the old continents, and thought he could name all of the big countries that had been there. But there were so many countries in Europe, how could anyone remember them all? “Then again, didn’t we get told that they do change over time? I just got the impression that it was really slow, so they wouldn’t have changed completely.” Not for the first time, Timo regretted having to drop out so early. There were so many things he didn’t know! When he had a chance he’d have to go to the library and look it up, but such chances were so rare at the moment.

To be honest, Timo sometimes thought that he would like to talk to Berwald about his mother and his grandfather. He adored them, he looked up to them so much, even though they were long gone. He wanted to share them with his friend, wanted to tell him all about how wonderful they were. But he never seemed to find the right time to bring them up, and besides. He was worried if he did he’d have to explain about what happened to them, and possibly have to finally tell Berwald about how he’d been asked to leave his father’s home.

Giggling at the thought of their ancestors meeting, Timo leant in closer. “Maybe they fought together in the wars!” He said excitedly, although in his minds eye he saw himself and Berwald in uniform, guns in hand. He wasn’t sure how much he liked that, though, he couldn’t imagine having to kill someone. “Or Vikings!” He could see Berwald at the front of a longship, dressed up all in furs with a big sword. He couldn’t imagine him with long hair, though, so perhaps not. “Or reindeer herders.” He added finally, giggling. That sounded like the most fun, although cold as well. “I think it would have been nice to have been born before the last world war when we could have travelled the world.” He said, just a little wistfully. “There’s so many things that I’d like to see.” Timo fiddled with his jeans for a moment, thinking about that. “But I would rather be here and have you.” He said, quietly. It was almost inaudible, especially as the train arrived as he spoke. Standing up, he let Berwald take the bag again, bouncing forward to open the door and glancing around before leading him over to a pair of seats so they could sit next to each other.

((I don't know if you saw this: nordiclove.tumblr.com/post/22542490448 ))

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

“There’s still so much we dunno ‘bout, huh? Sort’f feels like we could live fer centuries an’ still have so much ta learn,” Berwald mumbled, sounding somewhat pensive. His own words made him feel rather small, insignificant – like nothing he could ever do in his entire lifetime would really amount to anything. But the feel of Timo’s soft hand in his own calloused one comforted him greatly. He suddenly realized that he didn’t care about how small he was compared to the world, to the universe even. As long as he had people he truly cared about, his life would have plenty of meaning. The tall blond hummed thoughtfully. He could vaguely remember an old teacher of his saying something to that effect. However, his memory of that certain lesson was quite fuzzy. It did make sense that the stars moved, though. He had a feeling that nothing in the universe stayed still forever. “I think yer right ‘bout ‘em movin’ really slowly since they’re so big an’ all. But then tha’ makes me wond’r how long it’d take fer anythin’ up there ta look much diff’rent ta us down here,” he said, a small hint of his curiosity showing through in his tone.

Berwald smiled a little at how animatedly Timo was speaking. Cute, he couldn’t help thinking to himself. As he listened to the small blond talk, he unknowingly did the same thing as his friend and pictured the two of them garbed in uniforms he’d seen in an old book. He let out a small chuckle at the mention of Vikings. He had a difficult time imagining Timo as one, long-bearded, cloaked in thick animal furs and overall barbaric-looking. It didn’t suit the younger man at all; though Berwald had to admit to himself that it was a rather amusing image. Picturing himself as a Viking was a tad easier but doing so quickly reminded him of a dream he’d had some time ago. It had been more of a nightmare, however, so he hurriedly pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He didn’t want to ponder on the dream’s meaning any more than he had already. Timo’s final suggestion was able to put him back at total ease. It didn’t take much effort for him to imagine the younger blond wearing clothes made of animal pelts whilst surrounded by several reindeer. It was an adorable look for him. “I’d’ve liked ta travel ‘round the world, too. S’mostly jus’ wat’r now aft’r all,” he said, sounding a tiny bit wistful.

Due to the sound of the train pulling up into the station, the tall blond almost didn’t catch Timo’s words. He was desperately fighting down a blush now, though, so it was pretty apparent that he had heard him. He couldn’t quite find his voice just yet so, bag in hand, he wordlessly followed the other blond onto the train. As the two of them got settled in their seats, Berwald thought about his parents and wondered how they were doing. He still felt bad that they hadn’t been able to come and see the meteor shower but he was also happy that he had shared the experience with just Timo. “Can’t b’lieve ‘m goin’ ta work t’morrow. Ridin’ the train back down aft’r all tha’… Feels kinda like wakin’ up from a dream,” he said, smiling a little.

((omg, that picture would be even more perfect if they were in blankets. still, though, it's almost scarily accurate!!!))

[Timo Väinämöinen]

“I’d love to try and learn everything, though!” Timo said, quickly. “But we’ve lost so many things from when the old world ended. I know we have some things on the internet and from books, but think about how many things must have not been put on there that we’ve lost all together! And it’s not like before when they could do archeology and dig up all the old things, everything’s under water!” Timo really did feel bad about that, about all the knowledge that was lost. And he meant it about trying to find out about everything! There were so many things that he wanted to learn!


It was sad that almost everything was covered in water. Sometimes when he was little, Timo had daydreamed about taking a boat out and exploring the world. He’d used to think about finding another land out in the ocean, maybe even with people on! Of course, that was almost impossible, but it had still been nice to think about.

Resting his head on the window, Timo watched as the train pulled out from the station and started to move away, back home. He let out a slow nod, and sighed. “It’d be nice to be able to stay up here and watch the stars for longer, wouldn’t it?” He said, quietly, looking back towards the Hall that they’d left. He could just about see the dim lights from the building itself, but within minutes they faded as the train rushed towards its first stop in the highlands. For the first time he realised that he didn’t want to go to work. He wanted to stay with Berwald and spend more time with him. “I’ll see you soon, though!” He said, cheerfully, turning to smile at his friend. “Maybe next time we’ll be able to stay together longer, and then the dream won’t have to end.” He was teasing, but he meant it fondly, and besides, he’d like that as much, if not more than Berwald.

“Besides, your work looks like so much fun! It’s like a dream by itself!” He said, happily. “And you get to drive a car for your other job!” He wiggled his toes excitedly. Mind you, he did also have to carry heavy boxes around. He didn’t envy Berwald that. He did worry about him, though. What if something happened to him while he was driving or he hurt himself on one of the boxes? “You should be careful, though. Don’t hurt yourself or I’ll be sad. Your parents would be too.”

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

“S’a real waste, huh? Who knows, though? Maybe someday, someone’ll find a way ta save the stuff tha’s und’rwat’r,” Berwald mumbled, almost absently shifting his gaze downwards. He was trying to be a little optimistic but thinking about all the knowledge the human race had lost made him sad. And it hadn’t been just knowledge they’d lost either, he thought. The older blond couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like for the people who’d been alive during the last world war. So much of their race had been wiped out.

Berwald hummed softly in agreement, looking up from his lap to gaze out the window as well. He felt quite somber as he watched the lights from the Hall disappear from view. It had been such a long time since he’d enjoyed himself so much that he didn’t want to return to his regular working routine. Still, it really didn’t take much to jolt himself back to reality. All he had to do was think about his parents. As much as he would have loved to spend more time with Timo, just being happy and carefree, he simply had too many responsibilities to attend to. He honestly didn’t feel bitter about any of that, though. He loved his parents too much to wish for things to be different. He sometimes imagined living in a place of his own but he had never thought of completely abandoning his parents for the sake of his own comfort.

The tall blond let out a soft huff of laughter at his friend’s words. He was happy to hear that Timo wanted to spend more time with him, though he seriously thought that he might never come to understand why. He sometimes wondered what their friendship looked like to outsiders, with him being downright scary, socially awkward and of so few words, and with Timo being undeniably adorable, friendly and talkative. They were just so… different from each other. Berwald had no doubts whatsoever that the younger man could befriend anyone he wanted to. Consequently, he was more than a little perplexed about why his friend enjoyed spending so much time with him, a person most people had the tendency to avoid. He wouldn’t have things any other way, though. He loved having Timo in his life so much. It was unquestionable that he’d stay by his side for as long as the small blond would let him.

“Hn, woodworkin’s always fun. Bein’ a deliv’ry man, not so much,” Berwald said, a hint of amusement in his tone. “I s’ppose drivin’ ‘round was a lot’f fun at first but it got mundane ev’ntually. The deliv’ry van breaks down pretty oft’n, too. S’a pain ta fix,” he admitted with a small chuckle. He never complained about his second job to his parents, lest they feel guilty and ask him to quit, so expressing the things he disliked about being a delivery man to Timo felt good. “An’ liftin’ heavy boxes all day, not fun eith’r,” he went on, letting out a few more quiet chuckles. “S’tirin’ but the pay’s decent at least. An’ also… it’s the job tha’ led me ta you again so… ‘m really glad I stuck with it,” Berwald confessed quietly.

“’m always caref’l but… I’ll r’memb’r tha’,” the bespectacled man replied, blushing lightly. Of course, he greatly disliked the idea of making Timo sad. Nonetheless, he was more than a little happy about his friend’s concern for his well-being.

[Timo Väinämöinen]

Nodding enthusiastically, Timo made a happily noise. “Maybe some day the water will start to go down.” He said, hopefully. After all, it had come from somewhere, right? Maybe it would go back to where it had come from. Somehow, though, even though Timo was usually optimistic, he couldn’t imagine it happening in their lifetime. Maybe their children, or their children’s children would get to see the world as it had been, though.

Timo didn’t find their friendship odd at all. After all, Berwald had saved him, and while he had never admitted it to Timo, sometimes he wondered if he had been lonely before Timo had befriended him. Maybe Berwald hadn’t even realised that he was lonely himself. And beyond that, well, opposites attracted, right? To Timo, every little smile that he managed to eke out of Berwald was worth a thousand from anyone else, because he knew how rarely Berwald smiled. He knew that Berwald only spoke when he had something important to say, so it was always something worth listening to. Berwald always came out with interesting things that Timo had never even thought about. There was no way that Timo would even consider deserting Berwald for anyone else, he knew that there would never be anyone who could compare to him.

“You’re better at it then I would ever be! I don’t think I could ever be able to fix the van.” Timo praised Berwald as honestly as ever. He really did find it amazing! “I suppose it’s too expensive for your boss to get it fixed properly.” He said, frowning faintly. He found himself thinking that if he could afford it, he would buy Berwald a proper van so he wouldn’t have to worry about having to fix it. Mind you, if he had the money to buy a new van then he’d have enough money to make sure that he and Berwald never had to work again, so perhaps he wouldn’t after all. Blushing happily at the last comment, he nodded. “Perhaps if we hadn’t met that way we would have met some other way, though!” He said, quickly, to reassure Berwald. “It might have taken a little bit longer, but I think I would have found my way back to you eventually. We might have bumped into one another at the parade or something!” Mind you, with so many people at the parade, it wasn’t surprising that they hadn’t met there in their years apart.

Frowning as they reached the Highlands stop, Timo played with his hands. He didn’t really want to go home without Berwald. It’d be sad, having to leave him when they reached their stop. Suddenly, though, he remembered something that he’d been wanting to do for a while, and he reached into his pocket. Pulling out his phone, he fiddled with it for a moment, looking for the barely used camera feature. It was the only camera he had, and it wasn’t a very good one, but he loaded it up anyway, then slung his arm around Berwald and put his head close to his so he could get them both in the frame. “Smile, Berwald!” He said, eagerly, before grinning and taking the photo.

[Berwald Oxenstierna]

“’m sure ya’d be able ta get it if I taught ya. S’not tha’ compl’cated, jus’ a bit tedious,” Berwald said. Back when he had just started working as a delivery man, the van’s engine used to look dauntingly difficult to work with. But as soon as his boss explained to him which parts did what and how they did what they did, finding out how to get them working again was pretty simple. “Hn, ‘xactly. I’d ask fer a whole new engine if m’boss could afford it. S’lucky ‘nuff tha’ I get ta drive a van at all, though. He’s only got four’f ‘em. Oth’r people who work fer ‘im use bikes. They deliv’r light’r things, o’course, but they hafta make trips back an’ forth ta get more packages tha’ need deliverin’,” he explained. He was allowed to use a delivery van for a number of reasons but the most important one was that he could fix a van’s engine the fastest out of all the other people who worked at the delivery service – he was even faster than his boss. It was for this same reason that he was constantly assigned the oldest van to drive.

“Hn, tha’s true,” the tall blond said, suddenly looking thoughtful. He supposed the island wasn’t so big that he would have been able to go through the rest of his life without seeing the younger man again. And they were both Lowlanders, too, so that would have increased their chances of meeting a little bit, right? Well, it seemed the case at least. After all, he didn’t make deliveries to the Highlands. “With all the people tha’ go ta the p’rade ev’ry year, though, s’not so surprisin’ we nev’r saw each oth’r there,” he commented. “Maybe we should’ve arranged a meetin’ place b’fore ya left… Not tha’ we pr’dicted losin’ contact with each oth’r, though,” he added lightly. There was no bitterness in his tone. Berwald had missed Timo a great, great deal during the years they’d been separated but he had never blamed his friend for suddenly losing contact with him. It didn’t even feel like it mattered anymore. All the loneliness he had dealt with, how long he had clung onto the idea of a chance meeting, everything, none of it mattered anymore because they were together again now.

The older blond curiously watched the younger man tinker around with his phone. He let out a small grunt of surprise when Timo slung an arm around his shoulder and moved his head closer. He couldn’t quite grasp what was going on but when the small blond raised his phone and asked him to smile, everything clicked into place. In the brief moment before his friend snapped the photo, he managed to have a tiny panic attack. He was terrible at having his picture taken and even more terrible at smiling on command. Since it had been ingrained into his head that people found it particularly frightening when he actively tried to smile, he kept his face straight out of instinct. Timo took the photo and as soon as it was all over, Berwald blushed furiously. He was quite sure the small blond had only managed to capture his usual neutral expression, though perhaps with obvious confusion and surprise in his eyes.

“S-sorry… ‘m no good at takin’ photos,” he said sheepishly. “Did it come out okay? We could… take it again if ya want but ‘m awf’l at smilin’ on c’mmand. When I try ta do it m’self instead a’ jus’ lettin’ it come out on its own, people say I look scarier than normal,” he explained, still blushing fiercely out of embarrassment.

[Timo Väinämöinen]

For some reason, Timo couldn’t really picture Berwald on a bike. It was probably because he was so tall, but it made him giggle softly, looking at him. “I guess the time that you take repairing it is equal to the time that it takes them to go back and forth.” He said, thinking about it. He probably felt better that Berwald was in a van than on a bike; at least the metal shell of the van would protect him should he ever get in an accident. “It’d be fun to try and learn, but it’s not your van and it’s not my job, so we’ll probably never get the chance.” It’d be nice to have Berwald teaching him for once. Timo didn’t doubt that he’d be a great teacher because he believed in his friend’s ability to do anything that he set his mind to.

“Yeah, that probably would have been smart.” Timo said, laughing. It was a good idea, to have a meeting place, just in case, but then again it seemed a little paranoid to Timo. He was an optimist, he liked to think that it wouldn’t come to something like that. “Pity we didn’t think about that. I thought I’d be able to text you, though, or phone you to arrange something.” He frowned a little, remembering how heart broken he’d been when his phone was taken from him. “Still, what ifs don’t really matter any more, because we’re back together!” He said, pushing away the guilt again.

Timo laughed fondly and smiled at Berwald as he found the picture finally, then opened it up for them to see, leaning in so Berwald could look as well. “I don’t think it’s that bad!” He said, happily. Timo always photographed well anyway, but his eyes were on Berwald in the picture. Sure, he looked a little confused, but the surprise in his eyes was cute, he thought. “Maybe if you can’t smile for cameras I should try and catch you unawares.” He said with a laugh. It would be good to have a picture of Berwald smiling, though. He hesitated, thinking about how much credit he had, but then sent the picture to Berwald’s mobile so he could have a copy of it too. “You know, I wish people would look at you properly, then they might see how handsome you are.” Timo said, as he put his phone away again. He sounded a little disappointed, disappointed with the world in general. Berwald deserved for more people to appreciate him properly.

As they approached their stop, Timo sighed deeply, reluctantly standing up. He leant over to take the bag again, swinging it over his shoulder and then leading the way to the door, waiting there for the train to actually slide into their stop and stop completely before opening it and hopping out onto the platform. He had to admit, even compared to the beautiful gardens of the hall, it was nice to be in the city that seemed like home and he grinned at Berwald as he slid out of the gates, and then paused on the street. Here was where they’d finally have to say goodbye. Timo moved forward, wrapping his arms around Berwald and holding him close. “I had a really nice night, Berwald. Thank you.” He told him, happily. “Get home safely and sleep well. Sweet dreams.”